December 14, 2019 – Scarlett Johansson / Niall Horan (S45 E9)

by Vax Novier

AMERICAN HOUSEHOLDS
Trump drives family dinner talk in San Francisco, Charleston, Atlanta

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— A nice change of pace from the usual cold opens of this era, even if it’s still centered around politics.
— Interesting concept with the difference in Trump discussion between different families.
— A funny line about Michael Jackson music not being considered okay to play, only for Jackson 5 to be acceptable.
— The execution is a bit clumsy for the most part, but there’s some decent bits scattered throughout, like when Cecily starts commenting on her Tweet before the sound effect comes in, which causes her to break.
— This would actually work as the opening for the upcoming Christmas show, but there’s a presidential debate that week, meaning the show will have to cover it, of course, and make it yet another cameo-fest.
— The wraparounds with Aidy are pretty unnecessary, as if they thought the audience wouldn’t connect with the material unless a familiar face in a wacky costume was there to explain everything, though I did like her speech about how none of it matters in the end.
— Kate’s walk-on as Greta Thunberg is very forced and disconnected from the rest of the sketch. Apparently we can’t go a week this season without getting a dose of Kate and Aidy dicking around.
STARS: ***

MONOLOGUE
host finds PED using the Infinity Gauntlet to snap away SNL castmembers

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— A quick change for Aidy into an Elf on the Shelf bit that appears to be their way of addressing numerous controversies tied to Scarlett. Thankfully, this hacky lead-in is only a set-up for the actual premise.
— Always nice to have a backstage monologue, especially when it involves meta jokes such as pointing out how some people (like myself several times during their first half-season in the fall of 2016) can’t tell Mikey and Alex apart.
— Some funny mentions of how out-of-date spoofing Infinity War is, with Beck asking if it was a backup from the last time she hosted.
— Beck, as he gets dusted: “You need me! Who’s going to play the dumb idioooooot??”
— Funny scene with Bowen.
— Kenan’s Nick Fury voice sounds nothing like the character, but that just may be part of the bit about how poorly the Avengers parody is put together.
— Pete, in his only appearance of the night, makes a blatant, tongue-in-cheek promotion for Peacock. What is this, the 30 Rock quarantine special?
— Interesting details for Pete’s “dressing room” such as the Update cue card on his bulletin board and the desk with liquor bottles on it.
— What just happened during the un-snapping bit? If that was meant to be a masturbation joke, it didn’t come across very well. And whatever it was causes Pete and Scarlett to break for the rest of their scene.
— An amusing exchange between Kenan and Pete, with Pete explaining how he can skip a couple episodes because of how long he’s been on, followed by Kenan’s exasperated response of “that’s GOOD TO KNOW!”, alluding to his own longevity on the show. This statement becomes less funny nowadays since it basically describes Lorne’s business model for the senior cast members. Pete would also go on to share, in his controversial Charlamagne interview, how these types of jokes contributed to his dissolution with the show during this period.
— Melissa can be seen in the background with the rest of the cast when everyone is on stage. She actually had a scene in dress rehearsal, doing her impression of last week’s host, Jennifer Lopez, before getting dusted. This is evident by released photos that show her in costume at the end. At least they felt the need to still include Melissa, even if she didn’t get to do anything.
— Speaking of, the only cast member absent from this monologue is Kate, who doesn’t make another live appearance until near the end of the night.
— A lot of fans going in were probably wondering how they were going to address her relationship with Colin Jost, I think they ended up providing a decent balance of Colin bashing and loving moments, to satisfy the masses.
STARS: ****

SINGING ELVES
at a mall, dance music done by (KET) & (host) has naughty holiday lyrics

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— So this is the sketch that will most likely appear on the next edition of the Kenan/Scarlett highlights. Not too sure having this as the leadoff is a good decision.
— Getting some of the usual Anderson quirks like the intentionally funny-sounding names and emphasis of phrases such as “enterTAINTers”.
— Normally, the “straight guy explaining how weird the concept is” part of these sketches backtracks the material, though Beck has some funny moments with being into the performance and naming artists his character wouldn’t appear to know about.
— Heidi: “We know all the same people.” Beck (smugly): “Maybe you do.”
— This ended up being a little better than I remembered, it still shouldn’t have been in the lead-off spot.
STARS: **½

MACY’S
Macy’s has uncomfortable & vexing holiday clothes your kids will hate

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— I like how this has the look of a real clothing commercial, which gives this a more authentic touch.
— A good turn with the kids complaining about their outfits.
— Mikey’s son makes an appearance as one of the kids in a scene with his dad.
— Kid: “My shoes hurt.” Kate: “Welcome to being a woman.”
— Loving the cuts to the domestic strife between Mikey and Heidi, halting the commercial in the process.
— Funny rundown of the specific types of clothes the kids will hate, complete with a perfect Bowen reaction to the smelly diaper of Aidy’s kid from a few feet away.
— A fun ad that captures different engaging sensibilities.
STARS: *****

OFFICE APOLOGY
co-worker reaction to inappropriate (host) & ribald Charlie diverges

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— A sequel to the “Sexual Harassment Charlie” sketch back in season 43 when James Franco hosted, an episode I previously covered (I swear, this was not intentional). We even have all the same actors playing their characters from last time, apart from Leslie who is replaced by Bowen.
— Kenan has been all over the episode so far, though this ends up being his last appearance of the night.
— An odd decision to bring this back considering the original aged poorly afterwards due to Franco’s involvement. Although Carson has pointed out that putting a woman in the role of the easily-offendable employee gives the premise a more satirical edge than before.
— It won’t do any good dissecting the logic of this sketch, but the workplace rehired Charlie only for him to commit the same offenses and get fired again?
— They’re really overdoing Charlie’s “Do a little dance.” remarks.
— A funny line from Beck on how he tried everything to “Just fire Linda” followed by Scarlett’s reaction.
— Even the reasons Charlie gets fired are just a retread of last time.
STARS: **½

A CONWAY MARRIAGE STORY
George (BEB) & Kellyanne (KAM) are at odds

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— The obligatory Marriage Story spoof, in the form of a movie parody starring Kate’s Kelleyanne Conway. This is the first appearance of these films in a long while.
— Beck takes over the role of Kellyanne’s husband after a brief appearance played by Alex in the “A Day Off” short.
— It feels like we’ve seen the “Kellyanne Babble” routine plenty of times by now, but Alex manages to make it refreshing, as he sheepishly tries to interject and get a word in edgewise.
— I like the detail with the critic awards, of the film not only winning at TIFF, but also the Breitbart Film Festival and the Deep State Medal of Freedom.
— The portrayal of Kellyanne is coming off a bit more nuanced than usual, while retaining the psychotic characterization that defines these pieces.
— A funny turn with George and Kellyanne revealing they were under the impression that the therapy session was an interview.
STARS: ***½

MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Nice To Meet Ya”

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— Blue: If I didn’t know anything about Niall Horan, I would have guessed he’s American from his singing style. He’s got a nice alt-rock sensibility.
— Strong piano chords to open the song. 
— I like the slow build, adding in the drums and bass one by one, and then the guitar on the chorus.
— Really appreciate the random French in the second verse (“j’adore la mer”).
— The switch from the piano into the electronic synth to signal the chorus’ approach is so good. It’s the kind of little thing that my mind is prone to latch onto and replay over and over.
— I can’t see the keyboardist or the guitarist during the “I’m gonna love you” part, so they could be singing along, but if not, that’s a painfully glaring instance of “why not sing the pre-recorded vocals?,” especially since four of the five musicians have vocal mics…
— Clever songwriting choice to expand on the “Nice to meet ya” part that followed the first verse, and having all but the rhythm section drop out during it.
— Really strong bridge, especially when the piano kicks back in.
— Okay, I see now that the “I’m gonna love you” part is pre-recorded, to which I ask… why… 
— Wow, clearly Niall was wasted on One Direction. I can definitely see myself replaying this song. There was nothing overly special about the performance, but what a great tune.
STARS: ****

WEEKEND UPDATE
Chen Biao is confident China is winning its trade war with the USA

streetwise Baby Yoda (KYM) is capitalizing on his moment in the spotlight

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— One thing you notice during the item about yet another Trump tweet that made headlines, the way so many have over the years, is how the tone of Weekend Update has really changed in regards to Trump, with the usual pandering, “Resistance” clapter-bait diminished in favor of a justified, cynical outlook. Calling out the inevitable decline of the impeachment hearings is one of the rare instances of SNL making the correct call on a Trump story. Even when the eventual outcome turns out to be positive at times, the hopeless resignation usually holds up a lot better.
— A standout line about Trump reclassifying Judiasim as a race so he can claim that Ivanka and Jared Kushner are an interracial marriage.
— Hilarious bit with Che commenting on the Washington/Trump comparison by comparing Colin to Bill Cosby, even pushing to show a split-screen graphic in order to make it sink in.
— Bowen’s breakout character, Chen Biao, has become recurring.
— I like the back-and-forth with him specifically targeting Ainsley.
— The material is lacking for the most part, but Bowen carries it with his performance.
— A good string of jokes between the commentaries.
— The debut of Kyle’s Baby Yoda characterization, after being cut from last week’s Update.
— I will say the makeup job is impressive, even if it peters toward the uncanny valley, and the douchebag persona is an interesting, yet cliched angle to take.
— This worked as an oddball one-off, but it definitely didn’t need to become recurring.
STARS: ***½

HOT TUB CHRISTMAS
strip club ghosts (host), (CES), (musical guest) sing about hot tub tomb

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— A good turn with the stripper ghosts singing about their deaths.
— I’m liking the soft rock, Carpenter-esque vibe to the song. The tune is very catchy and Cecily and Scarlett’s vocals provide a good harmony.
— And now Niall gets involved, as the aforementioned Big Jim.
— The chroma key used is visibly off-center in the wide shots when it’s clear only their top half is being covered.
— Funny reveal that they’re all rotting in Hell, their dense attitude throughout the sketch helps the bit.
— A sweet ending. It may be a little corny, but the feel-good vibes going on make it work.
— A nice low-key sketch, overall, even with the outrageous inclusions, and a much better Cecily/Scarlett pairing than their previous team-up (Dino Bones).
STARS: ****½

A WINTER BOYFRIEND FOR HOLIDAY CHRISTMAS
single (host) faces holiday marriage tropes on Hallmark Channel game show

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— Feels a bit late in the night for a gameshow sketch. Maybe this should’ve been switched out with Singing Elves. Then again, changing the rundown to have three musical sketches in a row could have lessened the effect of the two pieces in the back half.
— A fun conceit of a dating game show based entirely around traits of a typical Hallmark movie.
— Aidy, when introducing Scarlett: “She’s a New York 6 and a Buffalo 10…”
— Funny bit with Chris as the Hallmark black guy who doesn’t have any defined character traits.
— Another standout Aidy line: “If you haven’t chosen someone to marry by [Christmas], Christmas is canceled and the killer goes free.” which barely got a reaction from the audience.
— An odd blooper just now, when Scarlett asks the contestants what the Menorah is, as Alex guesses “Santa’s trident” only to get a correct answer ding. You can briefly see a look of confusion from Alex while this happens.
— I loved Beck’s spot-on douchebag delivery as he says “I won! I won.”
— This has begun to die down by the end, but Aidy’s line about how “The true reason for Christmas is husband.” was a fitting capper.
— Aidy signs off by saying, “You stay straight out there.”, a subtle reference to the recent controversy over Hallmark pulling a lesbian-themed ad.
STARS: ***½

I SAW MOMMY KISSING SANTA CLAUS
the song expands into a cuckold fantasy scenario

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— Oh, this one is a classic!
— Cecily is perfect for this type of role. In fact, the entire wholesome “Rockwellian” aesthetic of the sketch really works to its advantage.
— The turn of the dad actually sitting in the corner is executed well, complete with a priceless shot of Mikey getting turned on while watching the two of them kiss.
— Good reveal with the situation turning out to be kinky foreplay between Santa and the parents.
— I like the minor specific details throughout the piece, such as the ad posted on Craigslist and the fact that Santa came in a Nissan (complete with a callback at the end).
— I’m loving all the visuals throughout of Cecily spying, especially the last one.
— A nice final beat where Cecily ends up learning something about herself from the experience.
— A fantastic piece that I’ve always enjoyed! Definitely one of, if not the highlight of Cecily’s later years. Probably the only musical short from this era, in my opinion, that has ever reached the greatness of Twin Bed. It’s such a standout that I go back and listen to it all year round.
STARS: *****

MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Put A Little Love On Me”

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— Blue: Let me guess, this is going to be a ballad.
— I was right.
— The Christmassy lights onstage are very nice.
— This sounds more typical of what I’d expect from Niall Horan than the first song did. Sounds like a song to drive his fangirls wild.
— That shift from the major chord to the minor at the end of the chorus is really cool and keeps the song interesting.
— Niall is in fine voice. I can’t decide if I prefer hearing him sing in this style or in the alt-rock style from the first song. He seems a bit more adept at singing ballads, though.
— Pretty charming song. Nothing more to say here.
STARS: ***

CELEBRITY SIGHTING
kitchen workers are big fans of models (BOY) & (host) from choking poster

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— Lots of Bowen tonight, which is great to see considering his appearances are usually only limited to standout pieces or niche roles most of the time.
— Good reveal that Scarlett and Bowen are the models of a choking poster seen on the wall. This character was actually part of Bowen’s SNL audition so it’s nice to see him get it on-air.
— I like the attitude of overestimating their celebrity status, only to show they really are famous to the waitstaff.
— Funny bit with Bowen recording a voicemail for Mikey that includes choking sounds.
— Some questionable camera blocking right now with the bar counter taking up the foreground and most of the castmembers mixed in with the crowd being barely visible. I’d have to guess this sketch got cut down for the live show and they had bigger parts in dress.
— A semi-predictable turn with Bowen starting to choke and Kate having to save him because he and Scarlett are only models.
STARS: ****

PET TRANSLATOR
Trump impeachment hasn’t swayed thoughts-vocalizing device creator’s dog

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— Another unnecessary sequel to a one-off sketch as we get the return of the dog translator sketch from the last time Scarlett hosted.
— On a side note, I have to mention how incredibly lazy the online titles for these direct sequels are; Another Translator, Another Brothers, Another Close Encounter, Another Uncle Meme, etc.
— The problem with bringing back a standalone premise and giving it little to no variety is that it can’t work again if you already know the concept going in.
— At least there’s continuity this time around as they mention the previous failed test and supposedly fixing all the glitches.
— Last time, the thing that made it stand out was the unintentional mishap with the dog removing the helmet and Scarlett quickly covering up the mishap. There’s nothing to find in this edition that makes it stand out.
— A slight deviation to the end with a pig being used as the test subject, explaining the squealing noise that was heard earlier.
STARS: **

GOODNIGHTS

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— During her closing speech, Scarlett makes an out-of-left-field shoutout to the “men and women of the armed forces who risk their lives every day so we don’t have to.”

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS:
— We finally got a Scarjo-hosted episode that can be considered above-average (6th time the charm, I guess), continuing the on-off result for recent seasons of the pre-Christmas show being an unexpected pleasure! The week provided several classics and there was an all-around cohesive feeling for this cast-only show.

MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS

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RATED SEGMENTS RANKED FROM BEST TO WORST
I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus
Macy’s
Hot Tub Christmas
Monologue
Celebrity Sighting
A Winter Boyfriend For Holiday Christmas
A Conway Marriage Story
Weekend Update
American Households
Office Apology
Singing Elves
Pet Translator

TOMORROW:
Eddie Murphy’s long-awaited return to SNL after 35 years, reviewed by the one and only Carson!