November 2, 2019 – Kristen Stewart / Coldplay (S45 E5)

by John

ELIZABETH WARREN TOWN HALL
at an Iowa rally, Elizabeth Warren (KAM) gives healthcare policy details


— Written by Will Stephen and Anna Drezen.
— This cold open received a great deal of criticism, both from devotees of several other candidates (one or two in particular…) and also from fans who felt it was pure propaganda with minimal humor.
— For the most part, I would say this cold open does lean very heavily in Warren’s favor—the main person who asks questions (Cecily) is presented as an irritant from an opposing camp, and while there is a nod to how unlikely Warren’s plans are to pass in Congress, this is not put on her in a negative way. There are also plenty of reminders of how she has to be the mom and gets none of the praise or support other candidates get. 
— This is the peak period of Kate McKinnon being a security blanket to many fans, rather than a comedic performer. Her Warren impression is almost all comfort, little satire, built in by possible regrets of the effect that some of the mild jibes about Hillary had on her Presidential run. 
— With that said, I do think Kate had a natural ease in this impression which is often missing from much of her other political work, although this cold open mostly being a one-woman show for 8 minutes pushes my good will.
— The end back-and-forth with Kate and Chloe is very overextended, and is only interesting because it’s another moment in this season which feels like a passing-of-the-torch that never fully materialized. 
— Other than the end, this is one of the more consistent and relatively watchable cold opens of this season, if you are in the right mood, but that says as much about the quality of many cold opens this season as it does about the merits of this one.
STARS: **

MONOLOGUE
host turns tables by asking questions of audience members, including PED


— Right from the get-go, Kristen has a very ill-at-ease energy. Unlike some other hosts (like Jason Patric or Jonathan Majors), it works for me, but I can understand why many did not feel the same way. 
— From a dress report, this was meant to start with Kristen talking about her swearing in her first monologue, and having a fake-out swear this time around. No big loss cutting that…
— The host interviewing the audience members is a very clever idea, and I’m surprised we haven’t seen SNL do this more often. 
— We have another relative rarity here, for modern SNL: writers in the monologue. 
— Alison Gates doesn’t really get enough to do to make me wonder how she might have been as a cast member, but she’s fine.
— Andrew Dismukes gets a bit more to do, and he’s genuinely very funny, with a delivery similar to his current style. If this was used as a trial balloon for his joining the cast, he definitely aced it. He also suffers the Tina Fey-esque fate of having much worse hair here than he will as a cast member.
— I like the bizarre little detail of Kristen offering to make out with him to impress his co-workers, and his saying he’s cool with not doing it.
— In dress, there was a third writer (going by the description, I’m guessing Gary Richardson) who has an “awkward” exchange with Kristen when she thinks the woman sitting next to him is his wife.
— Apparently Kristen would also remove some articles of clothing after audience questions (like her jacket and a shoe). OK…? I can see why this part was cut, but I would have been fascinated seeing how that would have played out for viewers.
— Pete’s insertion into the monologue, and the somewhat hesitant round of applause for him, halts any momentum, both due to how half-assed the performance is, and how hypocritical the show always looks for “joking” about the heavy publicity he gets when they are so happy to exploit it.
— This will be Pete’s sole live appearance of the night. Shocking, I know…
— Much as I enjoy one of our last chances to get pure Beck-and-Kyle weirdness, their inclusion comes out of nowhere, and leads to a very noticeable dead spot as the monologue winds down.
— This is a very incoherent monologue, even with the changes from dress. That type of material helps put the night off on a weird foot, but I will always prefer a weird approach over, say, Kate Mckinnon mugging for 2 minutes while the host watches from the side. 
STARS: **½ 

ROSIE THE RIVETER
 (CLF) wins poster gig over crass (AIB), (host), (KAM)


— Another early supporting role for Chloe, in the usual earn-your-keep role for new featured players. Chloe DOES get a lead role this week, but it has a very strange route of getting to the public, as I will mention at the end of this review.
— Oddly, the title of the sketch and the Youtube thumbnail for the sketch would leave you thinking Chloe is the star. 
— You know what you are getting here. Crudity, face-pulling, and noise-making from Kate-n-Aidy. This is, I assume, still meant to be seen as daring or exciting by someone, and many likely do feel that way. I do not.
— The best I can say is that Kristen fits in well with Kate and Aidy.
— Mikey’s fey role is played up a bit too much, to the point of irritation.
— The “nein” joke is the only one that got a reaction from me. 
— After a lot of padding to fill up 4 and a half minutes, we get a rushed wrap-up followed by a “joke” where our heroes cause Mikey to severely burn his hand because he isn’t as patriotic as they are.
— I have no idea who wrote this, and I’m not surprised they kept quiet. I had forgotten just how bad this was. I could use this as an opportunity to reiterate why I am not a big fan of this duo, but the truth is many of their sketches together are made with more care than what we get here, so I wonder if their hearts were in it either. 
— This is a trash sketch that leaves you with a sour feeling and has no business being the leadoff to the episode, or even making it out of dress. One of the worst of the season. 
STARS: * 

DUOLINGO FOR TALKING TO CHILDREN
Duolingo has an app for adults who don’t know how to talk to children


— Written by Anna Drezen.
— Kristen is absolutely perfect for this role. Right from her painfully awkward delivery of, “Do you wear your clothes to school?” you know you are in for a good time.
— I also like the extremely queasy nods and grunts of affirmation when replying to Cecily (faultless as the narrator, yet again).
— I have my share of criticism of the that’s-so-relatable concept heavy in Drezen’s writing, and on SNL in general in recent years, but that is more when a piece just states something relatable and does nothing else with the concept. Here we have an idea you can relate to, but wrapped in a piece that has a good energy and escalation, anchored by a terrific lead performance.
— Great understated work from Heidi, always so reliable in pre-tapes, as Kristen’s boss watches Kristen struggle to talk to her child. 
— The scene with Kristen talking to the kid with the “long, meandering story” is a smart way to keep the idea going without feeling like repeating the obvious.
— The completely random throwing in of Child Wearing Big Pink Dress makes me laugh. 
— I love the ending when Kyle, the king of awkward pre-tape material, pops up and he and Kristen bond over their Duolingo usage, while mother Aidy looks on very uneasily. Flawless work from all actors involved, and a very very strong closer. 
— Easily one of SNL’s best commercial pre-tapes. Succinct, well-executed, easy to watch over and over. I’m sure this got the usual product placement complaints (and Duolingo did respond to the pre-tape, I believe), but it’s still fantastic to me, and the first lift to the night. 
STARS: *****

NEW PAINT
 (AIB)’s use of expensive Farrow & Ball paint foments family rancour


— Written by Kent Sublette.
— This was cut from dress in Emma Stone’s season 44 episode. 
— Similar to Duolingo, this sketch led to grumbling about product placement. However, Farrow & Ball were, according to them anyway, very pleasantly surprised by the sketch, enough to quickly capitalize on it. 
— I could do without Kristen having to explain to us that Aidy is pronouncing “colour” with a “u” in it.
— There’s a specific type of vamping Aidy partakes in that lures me in—the L’Eggs sketch being another example. A deeply delusional figure who is so confident in her delusion that you want to be part of that delusion, even when you start to sense she herself doesn’t fully believe it.
— I know that a glossy commercial fading to the ugly reality is nothing original, but the work from Aidy and Beck really sells this aspect for me. They nail the escalating hysteria. You don’t usually see Beck and Aidy play off each other this way.
— The part where Aidy and Beck argue over whether she still has any of the money their parents left her is surprisingly ‘real’ for a silly sketch.
— I know it’s a bit of a cheap gag but the way Aidy says “squalor” amuses me.
— Boom mic! 
— The inclusion of a very broad Kyle as Aidy’s lover works better than you’d expect, and Aidy’s delivery of “Of course!” when asked if she’s sleeping with him is great.
— I know some felt the shift to Kristen’s character having an affair wasn’t needed, but it works for me.
— I’m not usually a big fan of fake profanity in a sketch—you are just taken right out of the material—but Aidy’s way of saying ”effing” works here.
— Aidy’s “YES!!!” when Beck asks if she’s drunk is another gem. 
— “LOOK AT THE COLOUR OF HIS EYES!!” is a fine way to wind down the pretentious pronunciation gag. 
— While most of Kristen’s underplaying here is not a detriment, and I think serves as a good contrast to the boisterous Aidy and Beck, she is a bit too weak in the closing argument and physical confrontation with Aidy. As a result, the sketch doesn’t end with as much of a pop as it should. I think Emma would have played that part better.
— I enjoyed this quite a bit at the time, and I still do. It’s an example of something from a cast member and a writer I can often feel frustrated with, but in this case done right.
STARS: ****½ 

HERO DOG PRESS CONFERENCE
(CES) serves as translator for hero dog Conan during press conference


— I completely forgot that Kate’s Kellyanne Conway was in this.
— I got a guilty smile out of her referencing The Ring
— Bit of an awkward moment when one person in the audience applauds Kellyanne mentioning an ISIS leader being killed while no one else reacts. 
— Thanks to Matt for pointing out that the font on the chyron for Conan’s name is the same font used for Conan O’Brien on his talk show. Strangely ironic, given the dog’s name is Conan.
— Kristen is not in this sketch. It’s very rare for hosts to not appear in all sketches (not counting cold opens) these days. I’m half-surprised she wasn’t just thrown in as a reporter. At least it gives Melissa and Heidi a chance.
Of course Cecily is playing the dog wrangler.
— If you are reading this review, then by now you’ve heard plenty of complaining about the overuse of dogs in the first months of season 45. I will say that this sketch is poor even by those standards. 
— The dog repeatedly tries to get away, there are piped in sound effects for the dog, the dog barks at random times, over the cast, and when Cecily is not breaking up or trying to keep the dog from running off, she has to just try to make her way through a sea of lines. This is all very stilted, and when something is so stilted, any of the unpredictability or joy meant to be found in having a sketch all about a dog tends to dissipate. 
— Per the dress report, they spent more time trying to get the dog to bark, which is likely why the live version has the distracting growling effects being piped in.
— A part of me wants to say this feels like something that should be on a kids show, but then, many kids shows are better written than adult fare, and many of the lines are very adult in nature. There’s just something very juvenile in the concept. I understand the appeal (over 3 million views on Youtube), and I don’t intend to get on a high horse—SNL has rarely been intended as some kind of high-standard fare—but this is not only very juvenile, it’s also very poorly put together, which is what bothers me most. Cecily + dog seems to be as far as the planning went. That’s not good enough.
— I do like a few of the lines (like “we need to find the whistleblower because that noise is driving him crazy,” the dog complaining about getting a paw necklace [“would you give a human a foot?”] and “I don’t see color, I’m literally color blind”). I also like the ending, with the human soldier appearing and no one caring about talking to him. That is the reason why I’m ranking this above the Riveter sketch, which has no redeeming qualities.
STARS: *½ 

CORPORATE NIGHTMARE
in music video, young office rebels (KYM), (host), (MID), (PED) sell out


— Written by Mikey Day and Streeter Seidell.
— Perfect casting of Mikey, Pete and Kyle with Kristen. As some said at the time, you didn’t even have to do anything with Pete in terms of makeup…
— At the time I saw various fans suggesting the song in this is based on “Fat Lip” by Sum 41.
— Kristen’s look is likely based on Paramore’s Hayley WIlliams, who responded positively to the homage.
— Beck played father figures/authority figures in so many pre-tapes I think fans took for granted just how good his work was. He never just hides behind prosthetics and wigs, instead embodying the parts with a believable, lived-in quality. That’s crucial to this type of piece, where you have to understand why the rebels respond to him.
— Wonderful, natural progression starting with Kristen succumbing to corporate culture. Some great moments to make that clear, from her adding in her own pro-boss lyrics to (my favorite part) picking up the filing cabinets and files in the ransacked office she had knocked down earlier on.
— I like that we get Kyle struggling to finish the song as he sees Pete and Mikey also being sucked in.
— Another fantastic visual touch that, as each of the quartet is brought into the fold, the other employees go from just sitting there, not involved, to being in crowd shots, to, by the end, taking center stage in the “punk” antics. The choice to have the most prominent extras being older and white and mostly male stands out without being too heavy-handed. 
— Perfect, depressing conclusion with the empty corporate-speak and Kyle’s character ripping out his lip piercing for the sake of Beck’s approval. 
— Both of the pre-tapes in this episode are utterly tailored to Kristen Stewart’s talents, possibly more so than any other host in the heavy pre-tape era. You could argue about whether or not a pre-tape should be so suited for a host, or if the host should just take an ordinary role (which I think has happened more in the last few seasons), but this works both as a use of her gifts as well as for various cast members. 
— This is an absolutely superb short, not only a season highlight, but a pre-tape highlight for any season. The pre-tapes get into more of a rough patch as season 45 progresses, but the best of them are truly first-rate and hold up extremely well on multiple viewings. I’ve said this before, but, outside of PDD (who are their own little world, which I’m fine with), I miss this standard of care with the pre-tapes in the last few years. Again, I know that 45 as a whole was not as strong in this department, but Stewart, Ferrell, and Harbour all spoiled me into having higher expectations, and I still do.
STARS: *****

MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Orphans”


John: Chris Martin will return for an at-home episode, making him one of the rare musical guests to appear twice in one season.
Blue: Oh great, I get to review something from my least favorite album of 2019? Man, I used to love Coldplay… used to… 
— The song starts with Chris Martin playing guitar from backstage. Well that’s certainly different.
— I always enjoy seeing SNL’s backstage area. More than I enjoy hearing this song.
— I’m… assuming that the band is playing onstage? At least I want to believe they are?
— This whole backstage section reminds me a bit of Coldplay’s own video for “A Sky Full of Stars,” and the video for “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For” by U2 (a band Coldplay is, incidentally, occasionally accused of ripping off).
— I don’t know if it’s more self-indulgent for Chris to sit in the audience, or for it to be revealed that the members of the audience surrounding him are all backup dancers for this performance.
— Chris’ microphone could stand to be turned up a bit.
— Really, Coldplay, that’s the line you’re going to build your chorus around? “I wanna know when I can go back and get drunk with my friends?” Shows that you can sing even the most insipid of lyrics to an upbeat melody, and it will go over well. 
— Ah, there are Chris’ bandmates Jonny Buckland (guitar)  and Guy Berryman (bass). Assuming they’re actually plugged in, they sound really good, so at least the engineer got the mixing right for the instruments.
— I will say, the dancers are really bringing a fun, energetic vibe to this performance. I just can’t get over how cheesy the song is.
— Ohh, that was a nice touch to have the dancers block the screen so that it looks like all of Coldplay just suddenly appeared onstage! They must have had to rush up there from the audience! (Was Will Champion [the drummer] onstage the whole time?)
— Love the chalk-drawing visuals on the screen behind Coldplay. The visual element of their live shows has always appealed to me.
— Now the dancers have joined the band onstage. I really like how their movements seem spontaneous, but synchronized—you can tell it’s heavily choreographed, but at first glance it seems like it isn’t.
— Chris’ falsetto notes at the end are pretty strong.
— Very mixed feelings on this. I don’t like the song at all, and it was easy to make fun of a few aspects of the performance, but at the same time… it was a really fun concept and the energy was infectious.
STARS: **½

WEEKEND UPDATE
kid genius Riley Jenson’s (MEV) mom (HEG) berates her for imperfection

Starkie sisters’ meat & seafood is solely sourced from unlovable fauna


— Che’s way with a line reading is helping to sell the stuff about Trump moving to Florida, particularly the joke about Trump being booed everywhere in New York, while even Bill Cosby can play a show in Philly.
— Obvious as the joke may be, I liked the bit about Rudy being locked out of his phone because even that didn’t recognize the man he’s become.
— The “two parties come together” joke with Katie Hill is the type Che would usually tell, so having Jost say it was a pleasant surprise. 
— Up next we have an exceedingly rare collab between Melissa and Andrew Dismukes, who tend to operate in very different spheres as cast members. I wonder if Andrew was involved in this one due to his writing partnership with Heidi.
— Melissa is doing a voice she doesn’t usually try on SNL, and is very much getting into this character part. She’s genuinely very impressive here.
— Heidi and Melissa are close friends; this is one of the rare times you get to see that bond on camera. 
— While there’s nothing new about the stage mother routine, the dark edge of Heidi’s work mixed with the increasing desperation of child prodigy Melissa serves as something very out of the norm for Update desk pieces. Andrew also tends to have desk pieces out of the norm, so it makes sense. I wish we got to see these three together more often.
— There are many fans who are very vocal about how underused Melissa is. Yet, for some reason, I felt like this segment came and went compared to a few of her other notably received desk pieces (like White Male Rage, or the Dolly Parton impression). To be honest, I can see why—I feel like this does not reach another gear it could have reached—but it’s still very good, and deserves more attention.
— An addition from Matt: “When I was in New York in late February 2020, I remember this being the SNL clip they would play on taxi cab televisions along with like five other two minute clips of random, family-friendly programming. I’ve never liked this piece much but I do think it’s interesting how accessible it feels; it might as well be an All That bit.”
— I liked Jost’s joke about the Joker steps.
— Fantastic riff from Che about the jokes he could not tell (and proceeds to tell) on the 67-year old giving birth.
— This Update has had great momentum so far, not as bogged down in Trump fatigue as some others by this point. 
— Here are Kate and Aidy, reprising their well-received turn from John Mulaney’s second episode.
— This Kate-n-Aidy reprisal isn’t bad (they are not as break-heavy as I remembered—I may have been confusing this with the third installment [which I mostly zoned out of]), but there’s no way they can top the first, where Kate and Aidy teasing Jost, and Jost’s disgust at the smell, felt fresh. Even the “big fish licker” line feels rehearsed compared to the original “meat” line. 
— As mentioned in the dress report, Ego has a cut piece as Every Black Conservative on Fox News. This would make the second episode in a row with Ego cut from Update, which must have been very demoralizing for her. I’m glad she has found more of a central place on the canvas since this time.
STARS: ****

HUNGRY JURY
growling stomachs of deadlocked jury perform “Pony” by Ginuwine


— This is the other sketch that was excavated from the Emma Stone episode.
— This is not on Youtube anymore, presumably due to music rights.
— Always glad to see sketches that show most of the cast, especially all just there, interacting, rather than being in a turn-based format.
— Kristen looks a lot like the late, great Margot Kidder here. 
— For those who wonder how many supporting sketch roles Kate has played in recent years—here’s one.
— I liked the joke of Kate’s character telling people to take Tums and then not actually having any Tums when asked, but I didn’t need Kenan’s character to ask her why she said it. 
— Fun bit with the black characters recognizing “Pony,” while of the white characters, only Kyle does… and he promptly reveals he knows it from Magic Mike
— The sketch repeatedly hints at racially-motivated conflicts, similar to some other acclaimed sketches around this time (like Mid-Day News), but that thread never goes anywhere.
— I wonder if Leslie originally played the bailiff role Bowen has here. Bowen’s use is a good example of how he managed to make himself stand out to viewers in those crucial early months as a cast member, without heading into overkill.
— I know this isn’t the most popular sketch, but I like it, and the goofy energy it generates—I just think it suffers from never properly building to anything.
STARS: ***

A PROPOSITION
pansexual (host) tries for a threesome with middle-aged (KET) & (EGN)


— Written by Kenan Thompson and Bryan Tucker.
— This is also not on Youtube… also presumably due to music rights.
— This is one of Ego’s first chances at a broad character part, which she is more known for outside of her SNL work.
— Easy chemistry between Ego and Kenan, who tend to appear in a lot of the same sketches, but don’t ever truly interact as often as you might think.
— Good bit from Ego when Kenan wants to beg off Wednesday church: “Do you think the devil sleeps on Tuesday?”
— One of the fan criticisms I saw at the time was that Kristen did not have the right energy for her role. Rewatching this, I would tend to agree.
— I’m sure it wasn’t intentional, but Kristen’s look here reminds me a bit of Harry Styles.
— The reveal that the Kenan and Ego characters have a “pig boy” (a memorable, committed turn from Bowen) and are not just the conservative older couple works fine, but needed more room to breathe—one more conversation after Kristen left and before Bowen arrived, at least.
— In general this sketch feels much more thrown together than you would expect from Kenan and Tucker. I wonder how much this was cut down to get on air.
— While this is, overall, a sketch that I can admire for its weirdness, the timing issues clamp down on the humor, and lowers my rating by at least a half-star.
STARS: **

MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Everyday Life”


Blue: A classic “one upbeat song and one ballad” adherent, I see. Wouldn’t have expected anything less from Coldplay.
— Nice to see Chris behind a piano, as I do tend to enjoy Coldplay’s piano ballads.
— The holes in Chris’ shirt are really distracting me. Whatever look he’s going for with that, I’m not sure it’s working.
— I like Jonny Buckland’s fluid guitar tone.
— The lyrics to this song are pretty predictable.
— I have nothing to say about this song other than “it’s pretty.”
STARS: ***

STARGAZING
to stargazing (BEB) & (host), constellations are depictions of oral sex


— Written by Andrew Dismukes.
— Always fun to see Beck getting a character part. The voice reminds me a bit of one of my favorite Beck roles. 
— Kristen looks like some of the old lady Kate characters.
— Not a big deal, but I’m somewhat surprised we just have a few random extras here that aren’t really needed with a small group. Did they not want to have a few cast members on just to stand in the background, mute? Or just focus on those with speaking parts?
— The initial crude drawings, and the music cue, are kind of fun.
— I know I say this a lot with SNL, but this sketch would be funnier if they did not keep explaining the details to us and have the characters telling us how repulsed they are. 
— The sketch also feels too long (also something I say a lot…).
— Aidy’s role in particular is very leaden.
— Some parts remind me so much of the Love-ahs that I had expected the amorous conclusion to have Beck screaming that he pulled out his back. Fortunately, that didn’t happen.
— I want to rate this a little higher, and give into the weirdness, but I can’t find a way. It’s just too clunky for me to be able to let loose.
STARS: *½ 

GOODNIGHTS


CUT FOR TIME: OPEN MIC
young privileged artists (host, KAM, BOY, HEG, MEV, KYM, BEB) perform at open mic


— Written by Fran Gillespie, Sudi Green, Kyle Mooney, Bowen Yang.
— As Vax Novier mentioned in the last review, Chance’s role in the initial version of this sketch was saying that due to reading an article about feminism he now knows everything. He then performs a rap about women, and later, one about poor people.
— “My mom is a Koch and my dad is a Wayans brother.”
— “Get ready to see the stars of tomorrow, and the Lyft drivers of today.”
— I got a laugh out of the line from the Kate and Kristen characters about Ryan Murphy owning their life story.
— If you think these two are similar to Tegan and Sara…so did they
— I like the little touch with Bowen and Heidi’s affected clapping. 
— Good comic turn from Melissa with the shameless 9/11 song. Hearing the audience groan at that line is a jolt, as modern SNL is often too staid to get those reactions.
— “Betty, I made your death all about me!”
— “His bio says he’s got John Mayer’s face, and Carrot Top’s ‘gutters.’”
— A very good take from Kyle as an incredibly vacuous man who thinks he is edgy because he watches Pixar and loves black and white photography.
— A part of me wonders if Beck, who is also very good as a deluded, bellowing DJ, switched roles with Kyle. 
— “We used to have hair down to our holes” is one of my favorite dumb-brilliant Kate lines. 
— Their song (“The Fence”) is oddly catchy.
— This is a teeny bit sluggish, and suffers a little from how often this era of the cast made fun of self-absorbed artistes, but this is still very worth watching. You rarely see some of these players in this type of piece together, there is some very sharp dialogue (which this era often used as a crutch, but that I find interesting to look back on now) and the sketch captures a certain voice of many people involved that they have since phased out of their show repertoire—Bowen in particular. I wish this had been in the episode, but I’m just glad we got to see it at all.
STARS: ****½ 

CUT FOR TIME: OOLI’S FASHION VLOG
Ooli (CLF) takes her fashion vlog to the streets of New York City where she tries to spot the latest in American trends


— This has one of the strangest journeys of any CFT piece. I believe this was uploaded on Instagram several days after the episode aired, then on Twitter a week later… and finally, to Youtube nearly a full month later. This is likely one of the main reasons the view count is so much lower than that of most new content. 
— I am not familiar with Chloe’s pre-SNL work, but I believe Ooli is a character she had previously debuted on her Instagram or elsewhere.
— It’s surreal to see Chloe running through packed New York streets, knowing what would be on the way several months later. 
— While there have been some fairly recent on-the-street pre-tapes, whether it be Kyle’s solo bits, or Tourists from the 2014 Charlie Theron episode, there is a rawness and a hint of danger to Chloe’s piece that feels closer in spirit to the first 5-10 years of the show’s run. 
— Case in point, the moment when “Ooli” talks with some young guys, only for Chloe to exit quickly once they start mentioning how well-endowed they are.
— In general, I think Chloe is a very glossy performer, very aware of her style and poise and how that can be utilized for a mainstream appeal. That has served her well in various media appearances, but I think has hindered her somewhat on SNL. The unpolished feel contrasting her polished persona works well here.
— This is very short—under two minutes—which I appreciate compared to the noticeable bloat of many modern pre-tapes. 
— This is, up to time of writing, my favorite thing Chloe has done on the show, and for me, represents a sort of path not taken in terms of her work.
— Ooli will appear a few more times, in very different settings—an at-home mandated pre tape with Chloe in a dual role, and a bizarre sketch (in a bizarre episode) that, if you only added some homophobia and an Iraq invasion reference, could have been lifted from a 2003 episode.
STARS: ****

OTHER DRESS REHEARSAL SKETCHES
— Thank you again to the Reddit poster who wrote up the dress report. These are invaluable documents in the show’s history and I always appreciate finding them.
— Beck/Aidy, Chris/Ego, and Kenan are parents at a preschool (Kenan is Ego’s ex), Mikey is the principal, and Kristen is the teacher. The kids arrive to sing the ABC song, but do so without singing “LMNOP” in the usual fashion. This upsets the parents and leads them to accuse Kristen of teaching the kids Satanic chants. From what a commenter said it may have been based on this version of the song, which went viral around this time.
— Kate runs a drinking establishment where Kristen and Ego dance on the bar, and Beck and Chris are excited businessmen. Cecily is another waitress, who is in a full body cast, yet still tries to be sexy. 
— Heidi, Cecily and Kate are drinking at a bar and complaining about their kids. Beck walks up to them, revealing that he was recently fired from his teaching job and that his kids “canceled” him. He then makes racist jokes that make the women uncomfortable. 

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— It should be mentioned that, along with Scarlett Johansson’s episode, this is the only season 45 episode with no cameos. While some may argue this episode proves why cameos aren’t a bad thing, I would still say having a break from the endless parade of guests was a positive for the night. 
— This is the last episode I will be reviewing that has a special promo. While I know COVID made these impossible to continue, and even now that we are meant to be “over” COVID I know why they are unlikely to return, I dearly miss them. They were often clever, made good use of the host, and in a number of cases, were better than the episodes they were promoting. 
— I’m disappointed that Chris Martin did not appear in any comedy roles. I know how polarizing Coldplay are, but Martin is a lot of fun in these parts—he even made me enjoy Garth and Kat!
— A number of fans have criticized the running order of recent years, with some episodes from this season, like Will Ferrell’s, being particularly singled out. I see that in places here as well (like the leadoff sketch), but from the dress reports it’s a big question how much could have been improved.
— I think there are some hosts who have a natural, unexplainable quality that makes them click with the show. I would count Kristen Stewart among those, which is why I don’t agree with the people who felt her first episode just worked because of other elements like Melissa McCarthy’s Sean Spicer (which I had zero interest in). With that said, although I think she was, overall, fine here, she was a bit guarded and off in a way that makes me assume we won’t be seeing her host again. 
— One of the reasons I wanted to review this episode is down to the flawless pre-tapes, but the other is that strange jumbles like what we get here fascinate me. That’s why the assembly line of late ‘00s/early ‘10s SNL, now seen as the ideal by some fans, often leaves me cold, in spite of the wonderful cast. This episode is one I turn over in my head a lot, and I want to talk about it. Do I think the show could be better than what we got here? Yes. Do I think this still has a lot to offer, more than some “good” episodes? Absolutely.  

MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


RATED SEGMENTS RANKED FROM BEST TO WORST
Corporate Nightmare
Duolingo For Children
New Paint
(CFT: Open Mic)
Weekend Update
(CFT: Ooli’s Fashion Vlog)
Hungry Jury
Monologue
A Proposition
Elizabeth Warren Town Hall
Stargazing
Dog Hero Press Conference 
Rosie the Riveter

TOMORROW
The one of a kind Kabir talks about the much talked about Harry Styles episode.

13 Replies to “November 2, 2019 – Kristen Stewart / Coldplay (S45 E5)”

  1. The paint sketch works for me so much because it has an escalating surrealism that seems to never quite cross the threshold of out and out insane (all of the jokes, more or less, relate to the same foundation of Aidy’s character being delusional). It is perhaps no coincidence that this sketch and the recent season’s mattress sketch are two of my favorite Aidy performances, as they both sort of take the same route of an escalating one-joke premise surviving because of the very lived-in performances by the actors. I do agree that Stewart’s uneasy underplaying, while well matched for some sketches, doesn’t fully work here–it’s okay when she’s merely supposed to be confused and grossed out, but the final shift towards anger and guilt isn’t played super well.

    The Duolingo commercial is perfect and is a perfect use of Stewart’s style. You really get the feeling she literally does not know how to talk to children (as opposed to not liking children, etc.).

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  2. Great review John, as thorough and encyclopedic as expected. I did like this episode slightly more, as we only disagree on Hungry Jury, but that’s a divisive piece and I won’t be shocked if it is a favorite of some of the contributors here. I recall not caring for the cold open (it did feel like a propaganda piece, even though I like Warren a lot), Rosie, and our obligatory cutesy sketch of the night. I don’t remember Rosie being that bad to get a dreaded one-star, yet I recall it being a big mess on the air. If there’s a really terrible Kaidy sketch this season, it is that awful New York Talk one with Ru, which I imagine you are not a fan of too. I love Hungry Jury! And I’ll defend the sketch to my death! But you do you and it is a divisive piece as I mentioned before. This episode is greatly helped by an excellent Aidy showcase, which marks the true beginning of this fantastic season of hers, and Hungry Jury and the two great pretapes, as they help it rise from the mess of sketches surrounding it. I could see Kristen coming back, though, as she seems to get along well with others. Keep up the great work you guys!

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  3. Wow. I think this might be the first time in these reviews where I rarely agree with any of these opinions. Let me explain:

    Now, I don’t care for Kristen Stewart that much as an actress. She’s very low-energy and low-volumed, almost similar to Dakota Johnson in Season 40. Not to mention the fact that she’s associated with Twilight, a film series that was BRUTAL for me to sit through. So with all that said, it’s kinda shocking how consistently solid both of her hosting stints are. I don’t know the logical explanation, but for some reason, her typical low energy works far better on SNL than it does in Twilight.

    Now, Hero Dog and Rosie are in no way good sketches, and yet they have enough redeeming factors to keep them from being terrible, at least in my eyes. And while I don’t view New Paint, Corporate Nightmare, and Open Mic as season highlights, two of those are still strong. The other one? Eh…

    Speaking of season highlights, Hungry Jury is a friggin’ classic for me. The various stomach sounds get more bizarre as the sketch goes on, making it work for me, and I find it hilarious how Chris does nothing until he starts singing, and I love his facial expression when that happens. Plus, Kyle’s “Who the heck is Genuine?” line cracks me up. To this day, I still find myself randomly singing “I’m just a bachelor”. Like, not even the song, just that one line.

    And in the interest of fairness, here are my ratings:
    Cold Open **1/2
    Monologue ***1/2
    Rosie the Riveter **1/2
    Duolingo ****1/2
    New Paint ****
    Hero Dog **1/2
    Corporate Nightmare ****
    Weekend Update ***1/2
    Hungry Jury *****
    Proposition ***
    Stargazing ***1/2
    CFT: Open Mic either **1/2 or ***

    I genuinely had no idea that there was a second CFT post.

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  4. Stargazing was also cut from the Emma Stone episode, IIRC.

    I’m easily swayed by an episode if I’m into the host. I’ve always liked K. Stew, so as floppy as most of the material is (there’s literally only one live sketch I enjoyed) I can’t bring myself to dislike this one. In general I have a soft spot for hosts with weird, inexplicable vibes. You listed Jason Patric as a negative example, but I did enjoy the (non) energy he brought.

    I remember this one got a lot of flak originally, with even some fans who are usually hyper-positive about every aspect of the show warning people the dress rehearsal didn’t go well. I find that odd considering it’s not too terribly different from any 44/45 episode: you still get your Kate-and-Aidy, you get your Cecily-and-dog moment, you get your incredulous Mikey, etc. I don’t think Kristen’s low energy even lulled the episode in any substantial way.

    I liked the pretapes as much as you did, but I also liked the Proposition sketch. I actually thought that was the only live moment in the night, apart from the monologue, where Kristen’s demeanor was properly utilized. I don’t mind low energy, meandering pieces if performed well, and it was nice to see a piece like that in a season normally so souped up on high energy and clapter and using dogs and wires and cameos to get a reaction out of the audience.

    Last thought: I wish it were more commonplace for older musical guests to have their second song be a legacy performance. Coldplay’s recent output does nothing for me, but I do like their older stuff, so it would’ve been nice to hear something like “In My Place” or “Clocks” for the thousandth time (not being sarcastic.)

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  5. @cheynem, great summation of the paint sketch and Aidy’s performance. I know this one was divisive at the time, and still is, and I totally get why, but it’s right in my Aidy wheelhouse.

    @Jesse – I’m very happy you enjoyed those dog and riveter sketches which I could not take, as it shows how diverse SNL is. I’m sorry you disagreed with the review but thank you for reading and commenting as always. I hope you enjoyed the Ooli piece.

    @Blood Meridian – I actually do like Hungry Jury. I know *** is closer to average, but I went with that because there are various pieces in it which don’t quite come together for me, so it affected my rating. That’s one of the reasons why I struggle with ratings and try to balance them out in the comments.

    @Ruby – I did think that Stargazing was from Emma’s episode but took it out because I wasn’t sure. Thanks. And I see your point about the Proposition sketch. I think it may be how chopped down the piece is that affects some of the performances for me. And yes I do remember that about the dress comments, which led to some awkwardness when the Ferrell episode got raves from dress people only to be all over the place onscreen.

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  6. I really missed your reviews John. I just love how in depth you go and how much care goes into your writing. We had to wait a long time for these reviews but I’m not complaining when I get to read reviews like this one!

    The only thing I disagree with you is Bowen’s trajectory on the show. Though I do agree that he went more towards camp, I found in season 47 he has showed a lot more range in his performances. He’s shaping up to be one of THE stars of the show.

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    1. Thanks @shacke9. I take too long in my reviews so I take a lot of the blame for any delays. I appreciate your kind words.

      I wrote this closer to the start of the year, when Bowen had less to do and when he did it was often just camp, but I agree he branched out a little more as 47 fully played out. And of course 47 had the wonderful pre-tape with Bowen and Simu Liu.

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  7. @Ruby, I love the idea of the second performance being a legacy performance for acts who have been around a while. One performance for whatever single they’re promoting, and then one of their past big hits. Though I feel it would only work for bands like Coldplay, whose current output is not up to the level of their past work, and that of course is subjective so… maybe that shouldn’t be a hard and fast rule. Still, it would be nice to occasionally see that from long-established performers. I liked the medley Eminem did in season 43, for example, where he performed one newer song and two of his past hits.

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  8. I still remember my mother’s reaction when this episode was over: “God, that episode was HORRIBLE!” Ah, mothers, you gotta love them.

    For some reason, the rude constellations sketch isn’t on YouTube (at least it wasn’t when I last checked in May 2020). I guess even they realized how awful it was?

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  9. Hello, I thought this episode was good, only things i didnt like was the cold open (which is typical for this era) and the lead off sketch. Nice job on the review, John

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